You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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