he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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