No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The ass gains better be worth it
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