Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
