Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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