I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He did a backflip because drugs
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
