if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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