I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
