a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
