Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i will never coherently bang her
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize