I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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