Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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