help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Where is the hickey?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
