hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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