Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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