I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
