WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
