let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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