she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Randomize