Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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