I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
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I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
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Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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