On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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