Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
