life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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