the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize