Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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