Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
