She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
