Texts From Last Night

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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.

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  (270): There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal. http://tfl.nu/1sv3
  Replies (26) Good night (3974) Bad night (702)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode

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  (610): I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode http://tfl.nu/uv7a
  Replies (29) Good night (7129) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...

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  (608): Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up... http://tfl.nu/7mfn
  Replies (8) Good night (1109) Bad night (2469)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'

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  (507): i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor' http://tfl.nu/w930
  Replies (1) Good night (2418) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  oh and then you called a time out with your penis

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  (970): oh and then you called a time out with your penis http://tfl.nu/pj7g
  Replies (8) Good night (2050) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.

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  (774): I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard. http://tfl.nu/r66v
  Replies (7) Good night (2117) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing

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  (513): All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing http://tfl.nu/d7sz
  Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  How did you make it to work sans hangover?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols

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  (660): How did you make it to work sans hangover? (816): 4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols http://tfl.nu/2csk
  Replies (8) Good night (1901) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.

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  (636): it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa. http://tfl.nu/cslo
  Replies (19) Good night (1704) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life

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  (256): I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life http://tfl.nu/6fwv
  Replies (4) Good night (262) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"

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  (832): I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat" http://tfl.nu/g4nb
  Replies (4) Good night (1056) Bad night (191)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants

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  (336): I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants http://tfl.nu/fpn9
  Replies (2) Good night (218) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.

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  (216): I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week. http://tfl.nu/slhb
  Replies (3) Good night (239) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.

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  (316): He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me. http://tfl.nu/8ei9
  Replies (0) Good night (351) Bad night (251)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian

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  (787): She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian http://tfl.nu/g8gz
  Replies (3) Good night (276) Bad night (562)

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