Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome

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  (610): the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome http://tfl.nu/8iag
  Replies (4) Good night (1636) Bad night (613)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.

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  (303): I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight. http://tfl.nu/0aby
  Replies (18) Good night (3938) Bad night (930)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone

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  (248): I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone http://tfl.nu/ll67
  Replies (46) Good night (6912) Bad night (2157)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.

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  (412): No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger. http://tfl.nu/77i8
  Replies (35) Good night (1134) Bad night (14939)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project

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  (440): i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project http://tfl.nu/w3av
  Replies (12) Good night (4395) Bad night (1029)
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  (585): View more from New York

  If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays

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  (585): If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays http://tfl.nu/yd37
  Replies (10) Good night (3947) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese

  (315): View more from New York

  here comes the puke

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  (315): so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese (315): here comes the puke http://tfl.nu/32gj
  Replies (18) Good night (1182) Bad night (4532)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.

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  (702): Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies. http://tfl.nu/viog
  Replies (7) Good night (3918) Bad night (861)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk

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  (727): Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk http://tfl.nu/ccms
  Replies (2) Good night (975) Bad night (1097)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.

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  (303): He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts. http://tfl.nu/jof7
  Replies (8) Good night (1110) Bad night (1830)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.

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  (310): I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there. http://tfl.nu/gafs
  Replies (3) Good night (973) Bad night (380)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat

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  (240): How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat http://tfl.nu/bfcr
  Replies (4) Good night (455) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...

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  (440): he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month... http://tfl.nu/b4al
  Replies (0) Good night (337) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....

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  (706): I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it.... http://tfl.nu/dz68
  Replies (3) Good night (447) Bad night (197)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?

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  (717): How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!? http://tfl.nu/zxwn
  Replies (14) Good night (322) Bad night (460)

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