Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.

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  (609): No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear. http://tfl.nu/h1fn
  Replies (10) Good night (2850) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?

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  (412): Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went? http://tfl.nu/2c9n
  Replies (22) Good night (2904) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i have a girlfriend

  (847): View more from Illinois

  if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  no

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  (630): i have a girlfriend (847): if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend? (630): no http://tfl.nu/0yu4
  Replies (40) Good night (5611) Bad night (1812)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary

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  (214): I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you. (1-214): that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary http://tfl.nu/469f
  Replies (36) Good night (7884) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness

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  (617): I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness http://tfl.nu/m7sl
  Replies (21) Good night (5812) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.

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  (715): Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar. http://tfl.nu/6xi2
  Replies (1) Good night (3590) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover

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  (763): i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover http://tfl.nu/a65k
  Replies (13) Good night (2878) Bad night (1210)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.

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  (563): I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating. http://tfl.nu/5u43
  Replies (2) Good night (1202) Bad night (1380)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus

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  (248): My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus http://tfl.nu/w26d
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now

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  (604): I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now http://tfl.nu/aqb9
  Replies (11) Good night (1953) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one

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  (615): The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one http://tfl.nu/1h27
  Replies (3) Good night (1687) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?

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  (678): Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night? http://tfl.nu/tvyx
  Replies (1) Good night (973) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.

  (817): View more from Texas

  So yeah he had good weed?

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  (817): I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft. (817): So yeah he had good weed? http://tfl.nu/m1w9
  Replies (4) Good night (849) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go

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  (850): We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go http://tfl.nu/28iq
  Replies (4) Good night (452) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup

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  (850): Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup http://tfl.nu/s0yj
  Replies (1) Good night (388) Bad night (206)

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