i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.