If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.