I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO