The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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