just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
NoShamevember. You game?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize
