Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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