no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
