I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
