You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
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i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
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You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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