maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
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Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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