If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We have started to decorate penises.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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