I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
