I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I am puke
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
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she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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