They should really pass out barf bags in church
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
