Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
