All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
