Your tits are I can't wait for
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
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I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
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The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake