I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?