high people should be assigned attendants
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.