I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition