I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize