I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
please don't ironically join a cult
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