I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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