Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
