around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
