He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
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I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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