all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
