Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize