you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize