Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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