I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
