Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
