words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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