ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
