so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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